Answer extracted from the Ordinary To Badass podcast — listen to the full episode below.
How can looking backward at past accomplishments help build confidence when facing new challenges?
When facing a new challenge, stop looking forward at the unknown and instead inventory what you've already survived—a divorce, the death of a loved one, difficult conversations at work. Those past victories are proof that you can handle hard things, and that evidence shifts your mindset from future anxiety to demonstrated resilience.
The shift is simple but powerful: when nervousness creeps in and you feel unprepared, your instinct is to focus on what might go wrong ahead. Instead, Bridget Truxillo advises turning your attention backward to moments when you thought something was impossible—and you did it anyway.
Every difficult thing you've survived leaves a mark, and that mark is concrete evidence of your capability. You didn't skip past those challenges—you went through them, learned from them, and came out the other side. That's not luck. That's resilience.
The goal is to treat your past wins as a reference library. When Bridget discusses confidence-building on this episode of Ordinary To Badass, she emphasizes that this backward look isn't about arrogance—it's about honest accounting. You've already proven you can do hard things. The hard thing in front of you now is just the next one on the list.
"You don't just get to skip the line or skip trying to get ready or the experiences that give you the confidence. You only ever feel ready by doing the thing."
Bridget Truxillo — Founder and Attorney at Lady Law Shield. After graduating from the University of Florida with a degree in horticulture, Truxillo attended the police academy and spent years undercover in narcotics with the Alachua County Sheriff's Office, becoming the only woman on her SWAT team. She later earned her law degree and worked in civil litigation before founding Lady Law Shield, a law firm dedicated to representing first responders—the exact position she once held and the battles she once fought alone.
The mechanics of this perspective matter. Confidence doesn't come from certainty about the future—it comes from certainty about your ability to survive what comes. You're not promising yourself the outcome will be perfect. You're reminding yourself that you've handled uncertainty before, and you can do it again.
This approach works because it's rooted in truth, not wishful thinking. You're not telling yourself you're unstoppable or that everything will work out. You're simply reviewing the evidence: the times you stayed in a difficult conversation instead of walking out, the moments you asked for help, the grief you moved through. Those are real accomplishments, and Truxillo's full conversation explores how this evidence builds genuine confidence rather than false bravado.
Key takeaways
- Confidence is built by doing hard things, not by feeling ready before you start—look back at past difficulties you've survived as proof of your capability.
- When facing new challenges, shift your focus from future anxiety to demonstrated resilience by reviewing what you've already accomplished.
- Past victories—whether personal (surviving loss or divorce) or professional (speaking up in meetings, difficult conversations)—are concrete evidence you can handle hard things again.
- This backward-looking perspective turns confidence from an emotional guess into a factual reference point based on real experience.
See also
What drives women to avoid reporting workplace misconduct or discrimination despite the mental health costs?
Women often fear being labeled 'that girl'—the one who complains, reports issues, or has a target on her back. This fear of retaliation and social isolation keeps many from speaking up about unfair treatment, even when it harms their mental health.
How should women in male-dominated fields respond when they experience differential treatment or discipline compared to their male colleagues?
Women should speak up about unfair treatment, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky. This means addressing the issue professionally and respectfully, protecting your mental health while holding others accountable.
What challenges do women in law enforcement face regarding uniform requirements and bodily functions that are rarely discussed in male-dominated workplaces?
Women in law enforcement face numerous practical challenges that go undiscussed, including finding appropriate undergarments that work with protective vests, managing menstrual cycles during shifts, and navigating bathroom access—issues that male colleagues never encounter.