Answer extracted from the Ordinary To Badass podcast — listen to the full episode below.
How should women in male-dominated fields respond when they experience unfair discipline compared to their male colleagues?
Women should speak up about unfair treatment, even when it feels uncomfortable, doing so professionally and respectfully while maintaining clear boundaries. If verbal conversations don't resolve the issue, document the problem in writing to protect yourself legally and mentally—staying silent only reinforces the pattern.
The reality of working in male-dominated fields like law enforcement is that double standards in discipline often go unchallenged. On her SWAT team, Bridget Truxillo observed male colleagues making mistakes without consequences while facing harsh penalties for similar infractions—including being assigned 500 mountain climbers as punishment for actions that went unpunished for men. After two and a half years of this pattern, the disparity became undeniable.
Truxillo's approach to speaking up combines firmness with professionalism. As she explains in the episode, you can say something like "with all due respect" while making your boundary clear: "I'm not going to do that." The key is acting rather than simply accepting the unfair treatment—your mental health and long-term professional credibility depend on it.
If the situation doesn't improve after speaking directly, moving the conversation to written communication becomes essential. An email documenting the differential treatment creates a record that protects you legally if the behavior continues or escalates. This isn't about confrontation; it's about creating evidence and establishing a clear timeline of your concerns.
"You've got to say something for your own mental health, and you can do it professionally: with all due respect, you know, I'm not going to do that."
Bridget Truxillo — Founder and Attorney at Lady Law Shield. Truxillo spent years undercover in narcotics and was the only woman on her SWAT team with the Alachua County Sheriff's Office before leaving law enforcement to attend law school. After working in civil litigation at a law firm, she founded Lady Law Shield to represent first responders—firefighters, law enforcement officers, dispatchers, corrections officers, and EMTs—fighting the exact battles she once faced alone.
The broader lesson, explored in depth in this podcast episode, is that staying silent to avoid becoming "that girl" actually gives unfair systems permission to persist. Speaking up—with professionalism, clarity, and documentation—is the only way to shift the dynamic.
Why Documentation Matters in Male-Dominated Environments
Written records change the power dynamic because they force accountability and create a clear pattern if needed later. When verbal feedback doesn't work, an email documenting what happened, when, and how it differs from how male colleagues are treated becomes your protection. It's not personal; it's procedural.
This approach is especially important in fields like law enforcement, firefighting, and emergency response, where hierarchical structures can make it harder for women to challenge unfair treatment. A written record means you're not relying on someone remembering a conversation or dismissing your concerns as emotional or exaggerated. The details speak for themselves. For more on how preparation and decisiveness matter in these high-stakes environments, hear Bridget's full story on Listenly.
Key takeaways
- Speak up immediately when you notice differential discipline, using professional language like "with all due respect" to maintain authority while setting boundaries.
- If verbal communication doesn't resolve the issue, document the unfair treatment in writing to create a legal and protective record.
- Staying silent to avoid being labeled "that girl" only reinforces unfair systems and harms your mental health and career trajectory.
- Observe patterns over time—after two and a half years on a SWAT team, Truxillo noticed the disparity was systematic, not coincidental.
See also
What challenges do women in law enforcement face regarding uniform requirements and bodily functions that are rarely discussed in male-dominated workplaces?
Women in law enforcement face numerous practical challenges that go undiscussed, including finding appropriate undergarments that work with protective vests and managing their bodies while on duty—issues that men never encounter in the same way.
What specific preparations should new leaders undertake to build confidence and decision-making capability before crises arise?
Know your policies, know your people, know who has expertise, and know who you can call for help. Understand the environment and ask questions before the crisis arrives so you're ready to act decisively.
How did a historical figure who escaped captivity and later worked with Union forces in 1863 demonstrate the connection between preparation and decisive action?
She gathered intelligence, knew the terrain, had networks, and prepared extensively before acting. During the raid in South Carolina in 1863, her preparation enabled the decisive action that followed.