Answer extracted from the Ordinary To Badass podcast — listen to the full episode below.
Why do women avoid reporting workplace misconduct or discrimination despite the mental health costs?
Women often fear being labeled "that girl"—the one who complains, reports issues, or becomes a target—and this silence carries a real cost to their mental health. Bridget Truxillo explains that she spent her entire law enforcement career trying to prove herself without speaking up about unfair treatment, a choice that eventually contributed to her leaving the field. For mental health reasons alone, she emphasizes that women must overcome this fear and speak up professionally.
The Cost of Staying Silent
During her time on the SWAT team, Truxillo noticed a stark pattern: she was being disciplined and singled out for mistakes that her male colleagues made without consequence. After two and a half years of absorbing this treatment without reporting it, she realized the toll was unsustainable. The belief that she had to prove her capability by weathering unfair treatment silently became a trap—one she now recognizes cost her years of psychological strain.
This dynamic reflects a broader pattern in male-dominated fields where women internalize the pressure to be "one of the guys" by never complaining, never appearing weak, and never drawing attention to discriminatory practices. As Truxillo discusses in the episode, this silence comes at a significant psychological cost that shapes careers and wellbeing long after the actual incidents occur.
Speaking Up Professionally Without Fear
The path forward, Truxillo argues, is not to stay silent for the sake of fitting in—it's to speak up professionally and respectfully. Speaking up for your own mental health is not the same as being unprofessional or emotional; it can be done calmly and clearly. She provides a direct example: "You've got to say something for your own mental health, and you can do it professionally: with all due respect, you know, I'm not going to do that."
This approach protects two things at once: your own mental health and your professional integrity. Rather than waiting until mistreatment has compounded over years, addressing unfair treatment early sets a boundary and signals that you will not accept it going forward. The fear of becoming "that girl" is real, but Truxillo's experience shows that the alternative—silence—costs far more.
"You've got to say something for your own mental health, and you can do it professionally: with all due respect, you know, I'm not going to do that."
Bridget Truxillo — Founder and Attorney at Lady Law Shield. Truxillo spent years undercover in narcotics and was the only woman on her SWAT team with the Alachua County Sheriff's Office before leaving law enforcement to attend law school. She worked in civil litigation for several years, then founded Lady Law Shield to represent first responders—firefighters, law enforcement officers, dispatchers, corrections officers, and EMTs—in the battles she once faced alone.
Bridget Truxillo's story reveals a crucial detail that extends beyond this fiche: the episode covers how she later left civil litigation entirely to build a law firm specifically designed to support the very professionals who face these challenges—a personal mission born directly from her silence.
Key takeaways
- Fear of being labeled "that girl" leads women to internalize mistreatment rather than report it, damaging mental health over time.
- Silence in response to unfair discipline or discrimination is not protective—it reinforces the behavior and harms the individual.
- Speaking up can be done professionally and calmly, without sacrificing respect or credibility in male-dominated fields.
- Addressing mistreatment early sets a boundary and signals that you will not accept unfair treatment going forward.
See also
How should women in male-dominated fields respond when they experience differential treatment or discipline compared to their male colleagues?
Women should speak up about unfair treatment, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky. Speaking up professionally and respectfully is critical for your own wellbeing and sets a boundary for how you will be treated.
What challenges do women in law enforcement face regarding uniform requirements and bodily functions that are rarely discussed in male-dominated workplaces?
Women in law enforcement face numerous practical challenges that go undiscussed, including finding appropriate undergarments that work with protective vests and managing bodily functions during extended shifts without access to adequate facilities.
What specific preparations should new leaders undertake to build confidence and decision-making capability before crises arise?
Know your policies, know your people, know who has expertise, and know who you can call for help. Understand the environment and ask questions before the crisis happens so you're prepared when it does.