The answer lives in this podcast
Do all women support other women who get promoted?
No — not all women will support a colleague who gets promoted. Some of the toughest criticism a newly promoted woman will face comes from other women. The advice from Marie Sonneman is clear: surround yourself with women who celebrate your growth, and refuse to let those who don't determine your worth.
When the only two women in the room see each other as competition
In episode 451 of Ordinary To Badass, Sonneman references a dynamic described by Dina Johnson Lee — a guest from a previous episode. Lee recounted working in an agency where she and Sonneman were the only two women present. Rather than becoming natural allies, the situation created a sense of competition between them.
This is one of the uncomfortable truths that nobody warns women about before their first promotion. The assumption that shared gender automatically produces solidarity is simply not reliable in practice. Scarcity — being one of very few women in a given environment — can push women into rivalry rather than alliance.
Sonneman addresses this honestly, without turning it into an indictment of women in general. The point isn't that women are unsupportive by nature — it's that the structural conditions of certain workplaces can produce that dynamic, and a newly promoted woman needs to be prepared for it rather than blindsided by it. This is one of the eight things Sonneman covers in this solo episode, precisely because it's the kind of reality nobody thinks to mention ahead of time.
"If people like you but they don't trust your judgment, you have a popularity problem, not a leadership advantage. Trust lasts longer than approval."
Marie Sonneman — Leadership Coach & Law Enforcement Lieutenant, host of Ordinary To Badass
The practical response: choose your circle deliberately
Sonneman's advice is not to wait passively for a supportive community to form around you. As she makes clear in Ordinary To Badass, you have to actively seek out women who genuinely celebrate your growth — and hold that standard firm.
This means recognising, without bitterness, that some women in your orbit will not be in that category. Allowing their reactions — whether criticism, silence, or outright opposition — to define your sense of worth is the real risk. A promotion changes how people see you. Not everyone will adjust well, and some of those people will be women you expected to have in your corner.
The episode, which covers eight distinct realities about the post-promotion experience, frames this as a matter of preparation rather than pessimism. As Sonneman puts it: the goal is to be confident, bold, and authentic — and that requires knowing in advance that not every woman will cheer you on. You can listen to the full episode and the rest of the series on Ordinary To Badass.
See also
Why does leadership feel lonely at first, especially for women in male-dominated industries?
Leadership gets lonelier before it gets easier — changing positions causes people to test you, question you, and pull away from you. Marie Sonneman addresses this directly as one of the eight unspoken realities of a first promotion.
Is it more important for a female leader to be liked or to be trusted?
Trust is far more critical than being liked. If people like you but don't trust your judgment, you have a popularity problem, not a leadership advantage — a distinction Sonneman makes plainly in this episode.
Should a new supervisor eat lunch with the team they manage?
Marie Sonneman advises against eating lunch with your team every day, because it gives employees time to vent, laugh, and decompress without censoring themselves around their manager.
Key takeaways
- Being promoted does not guarantee the support of other women — some criticism will come specifically from them.
- Scarcity dynamics — being one of very few women in a workplace — can create rivalry rather than solidarity, as illustrated by Dina Johnson Lee's experience.
- Deliberately building a circle of women who celebrate your growth is active, not passive — it requires a conscious choice.
- Letting other women's reactions determine your worth is the real risk; Sonneman's advice is to set that boundary clearly from the start.
Episode 451 of Ordinary To Badass covers eight things nobody tells women before their first promotion — including the ones that are hardest to hear.
Listen to the episode on Listenly