Answer extracted from the The Costa Property Podcast — listen to the full episode below.
How do expatriates build genuine friendships and community when relocating to a new country?
Start by joining communities aligned with your hobbies and interests—running clubs, cycling groups, book clubs—because shared activities create natural pathways to friendship. Do extensive research about your destination before you move, and critically, establish connections before you arrive rather than waiting until after relocation.
Research, timing, and the advantage of early connection
The fear of isolation sits beneath most relocation concerns, even when the logistics seem settled. Arriving with a plan to connect beats arriving alone, which is why exploratory visits matter enormously. Spend time in your destination country during different seasons to understand what your daily routine will actually feel like, and start building relationships during these scouting trips rather than treating them as vacations.
As Ali Meehan discusses in the episode, moving to Spain in 2002 as a remote worker left her isolated; she saw mainly her husband and the delivery person. Without a deliberate strategy to find community, relocation can feel like moving into a void, regardless of how beautiful your apartment or how ideal your living situation looks on paper.
Interest-based groups as the foundation for lasting community
If you have hobbies—sports, reading, fitness, creative pursuits—find groups organized around those activities in your destination, not generic expat social events. Cycling groups, running clubs, and book clubs offer repeated contact with the same people around a shared purpose, which is how genuine friendships actually form. Generic networking events work differently and often feel transactional.
A practical detail worth exploring further: the podcast reveals how Costa Women grew from a single book club into a network of over 14,000 members spanning 137 nationalities, demonstrating that simple, interest-based gatherings become the seeds of larger communities.
Meehan's own journey illustrates this: when she later established Costa Women, it wasn't through a top-down strategy. The first members came from a book club she joined—a low-pressure, hobby-driven environment where friendships could develop organically. The community has since expanded to include monthly business networking events and book clubs across regions, but it all began with shared reading and genuine personal connection.
Ali Meehan — Founder of Costa Women. Ali moved to Spain in 2002 and experienced the isolation that comes from remote work without community. After living in the Middle East and Asia, she returned to Spain determined to build genuine friendships and created Costa Women on her kitchen table while living in Thailand. She launched the community after joining a book club in Spain, which became her first members, and has since grown it into a thriving network spanning the entire country with 137 different nationalities represented.
Key takeaways
- Join communities built around your genuine interests and hobbies, not generic expat groups, for natural and lasting friendships.
- Spend time in your destination country before moving permanently, and use that time to establish connections rather than just explore.
- Repeated contact around a shared activity—running, cycling, reading—creates the trust and familiarity that genuine friendships require.
See also
How does spousal role-switching and division of labor support dual-career ambitions in family relocation?
One partner cannot have a big career in one place while the other pursues an equally demanding career—something has to give. Strategic role-switching allows families to balance both partners' professional ambitions across different life stages.
What triggered the business partnership transition from solo operation to joint family venture in a real estate firm?
After seven years of solo operation while one partner worked in corporate, the pressure to balance family time and business growth became unsustainable. Life stage transitions, such as children reaching their teens, often catalyze major business restructuring.
What approach to language learning do expatriate women commonly struggle with compared to men in international relocations?
Women tend to become perfectionist and get in their own head about language learning, whereas men naturally have more confidence and do not care as much about making mistakes in the process.