Answer extracted from the Ordinary To Badass podcast — listen to the full episode below.
What is the difference between having a strong argument and being able to influence decision-makers at work?
Being right and being influential are not the same thing. You can be 100% correct and still persuade absolutely nobody. The key is to stop leading with your own needs—like saying you're understaffed—and instead identify what your decision-maker actually cares about, then frame your argument with specific data around their priorities, whether that's overtime costs, customer complaints, missed deadlines, liability, or staff turnover.
From Facts to Influence: The Reframing Strategy
The gap between logical correctness and real-world persuasion lies in audience alignment. Your boss or stakeholder operates within a set of constraints, metrics, and priorities that may have nothing to do with your department's internal problems. When you walk in with "we need more people," you're speaking to yourself, not to them.
Instead, you must reverse-engineer their concerns. Are they worried about labor law violations? Mention liability exposure. Focused on quarterly revenue targets? Show how staffing gaps translate to missed deadlines or lost customer retention. This approach is detailed throughout the Ordinary To Badass episode, where the host explores how historical figures like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Oprah Winfrey, and Hedy Lamarr didn't simply argue their positions—they strategically chose how to present them.
Specificity and data are essential. Vague requests are easy to dismiss. Instead, bring numbers: "Our three-person team is working 15 hours of overtime weekly. At our current billing rate, that's $2,400 in uncompensated labor costs. Adding one junior role would reduce overtime by 60% and improve project turnaround time by two weeks, directly supporting the Q4 client retention goal."
The shift from "being right" to "being influential" requires empathy for the person making the decision, not frustration with their apparent blindness to your problem. As explored in this podcast, influence is a skill—one that can be learned and practiced just like any other professional capability.
The Historical Evidence: Strategy Over Righteousness
Women leaders throughout history have understood this principle. When Ruth Bader Ginsburg argued sex discrimination cases before an all-male Supreme Court in the 1970s, she didn't lead with moral outrage. Instead, as the episode illustrates, she brought cases involving men harmed by gender bias laws—shifting the frame to align with the justices' existing legal reasoning and values, making her argument irrefutable on their own terms.
Hedy Lamarr's frequency-hopping patent, filed in 1942, wasn't rejected because the technology was flawed—it was sidelined because the inventor lacked the credibility network to persuade military decision-makers. Influence isn't always about having the right idea; it's about having the right messenger and the right frame for your audience.
"Being right and being influential are not the same thing. You can be 100% right and still persuade absolutely nobody."
Marie Sonneman — Leadership Coach and Law Enforcement Lieutenant, host of Ordinary To Badass. Sonneman specializes in helping women in male-dominated fields develop the strategic communication and influence skills needed to lead effectively without sacrificing authenticity.
If you want to dive deeper into how to read your audience and choose your approach based on their specific pressures, the full episode explores real-world examples of women who changed the room—not just because they were right, but because they knew how to make their case heard.
Key takeaways
- Correctness alone does not move decision-makers; alignment with their priorities does.
- Identify what your stakeholder actually cares about—cost, risk, compliance, revenue—before building your pitch.
- Support your argument with specific data tied to their metric: overtime costs, customer impact, missed deadlines, or retention numbers.
- Influence is a learned skill, not a personality trait—it requires empathy for the other person's constraints and objectives.
See also
How did Ruth Bader Ginsburg use strategic audience understanding to influence an all-male Supreme Court on gender discrimination cases?
Ginsburg brought cases involving men harmed by gender bias laws, such as Stephen Weisensfeld, whose wife died during childbirth. She strategically chose cases that would appeal to the justices' existing values and logic rather than confronting them directly.
How can someone identify that they are ready for a promotion even when they doubt themselves?
Indicators that someone is ready include a boss actively encouraging them to apply, being given responsibilities that others are not receiving, and consistent positive feedback on performance.
What should you do if a promotion opens up before you feel ready?
The host advises going for it anyway, arguing that applying early still provides valuable experience and puts candidates ahead of those who have not yet started building their track record.