Answer extracted from the Cliterally Obsessed podcast — listen to the full episode below.
Where to Start in a Sex Shop: The Best First Section for Newcomers
Start with the body care section, which includes lubricants, massage candles, and erotica — it feels most familiar and approachable. You can also explore the novelty section with communication games and books like Come As You Are, which offer a lighter entry point into the store without pressure.
Walking into a sex shop for the first time can feel overwhelming, but knowing where to begin makes all the difference. The body care aisle is purposefully designed to ease anxiety because these products feel less intimidating than others in the store. Lubricants and massage products exist within familiar wellness language, making them a natural starting point for anyone exploring what the space has to offer.
Beyond body care, the novelty section provides an educational bridge. As Madeline Dorian explains in the episode, communication games and relationship workbooks create a conversational entry point. These products signal that pleasure and intimacy are holistic topics worth exploring together, rather than just transactional purchases. Many visitors find that understanding the "why" behind products — through books and guided games — removes shame and builds genuine curiosity.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. Dorian holds a background in sexuality studies from Concordia University and co-runs Wicked Wanda's, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational space, alongside her mother. Her expertise spans product development, retail strategy, and culturally inclusive sex education, earned through direct consultation with thousands of customers and healthcare professionals.
The strategy behind these two sections reflects a deeper truth: shame decreases when familiarity increases. Products presented within the context of self-care and communication feel less isolating than walking straight to toys without context. Staff trained to observe body language — a hallmark of spaces like Wicked Wanda's — also recognize when a visitor needs subtle guidance or space to browse independently. Discover more about how staff create welcoming environments for nervous shoppers in the full episode.
One often overlooked benefit of starting in these sections is permission. By browsing body care and novelty items first, you give yourself time to acclimate to the store's energy and aesthetics. This unhurried approach transforms a visit from anxiety-driven to exploratory — exactly the mindset that leads to informed, pleasurable purchases rather than impulse buys driven by discomfort.
Building Confidence Through Incremental Exploration
First-time visitors sometimes expect to find everything they need in one section, but intimate wellness shops are designed with a journey in mind. Starting in body care and novelty isn't just about comfort — it's a scaffolding system that helps you learn your own preferences. Conversations with staff or insights from books reveal what categories actually interest you before you venture deeper into the shop.
A curious detail from the broader conversation on this episode involves how product quality and marketing have evolved significantly over the past 15 to 20 years, making modern shops far more curated and customer-conscious than they were decades ago. This evolution means the stores you walk into today are actively designed with first-time visitors in mind.
Key takeaways
- Body care (lubricants, massage candles, erotica) feels most familiar and is the recommended starting point for first-time visitors.
- Novelty items like communication games and books offer a lighter, educational entry into the store experience.
- Incremental exploration through these sections builds confidence and helps you clarify your own preferences before moving deeper into the shop.
- Taking time to browse without pressure transforms anxiety into genuine curiosity and empowered decision-making.
See also
How does Wicked Wanda's staff approach customers who appear uncomfortable in the store?
Staff at Wicked Wanda's are trained to read body language and begin with light, human connection rather than immediately asking about personal preferences, creating a welcoming environment for nervous first-time visitors.
How has the sex toy industry changed over the past 15 to 20 years?
Product quality and marketing have matured significantly, with vibrators becoming much quieter and rechargeable rather than battery-powered, reflecting broader shifts toward sustainability and user comfort.
What should you look for when buying a butt plug or anal toy?
The most important feature to look for in an anal toy is a flared base that is as wide as, or wider than, the widest part of the toy itself, ensuring safety and comfort.