Can I Love My Body and Still Want to Change It?
What role does exercise play in recovery from serious physical injury and chronic pain conditions?
Strength training became Sarah Denny's pathway out of nearly two years of debilitating sciatica pain that prevented her from walking, sleeping, cooking, and cleaning. Rather than relying solely on medications that caused unwanted weight gain, she prioritized building muscle through lifting, which not only resolved her physical injury but restored her quality of life .
When sciatica-type pain consumed almost two years of Sarah Denny's life, it wasn't just physical—it was total. The pain stripped away basic daily functions, making even simple activities impossible. She found herself prescribed medications to manage the condition, but faced a difficult trade-off: the medications caused significant weight gain, adding another layer of frustration to her recovery journey.
Rather than accept this as inevitable, Denny made a deliberate shift in her recovery strategy. She chose strength training and weight lifting as her primary tools for healing , an approach that went beyond pain management and became a rebuilding process. The focus on building muscle mass and functional strength didn't just address the physical injury—it gave her a sense of agency and purpose during a vulnerable time.
This wasn't just about Denny's story. As discussed in the episode , Dr. Rebecca Chase, the family doctor on Cliterally Obsessed, shared a parallel experience with her own back injury. Once her injury resolved, Chase also prioritized becoming as strong as possible, recognizing that strength was both a preventive measure and a form of empowerment.
The common thread in both their recovery stories reveals something crucial: exercise isn't merely a symptom treatment for chronic pain—it's a catalyst for regaining physical function and psychological resilience . By shifting from a passive approach (relying on medication alone) to an active one (deliberate strength-building), both women reclaimed their bodies and their lives.
For anyone navigating recovery from serious injury or chronic pain, this approach suggests that the goal isn't just to reduce pain—it's to rebuild strength, capacity, and confidence. The process required time, consistency, and a willingness to view recovery as an active project rather than something that simply happens. This mindset appears to be as important as the physical training itself, as noted in the full conversation on Listenly .
"If I'm going to gain weight, I'm going to just make it a bulk and really just try to put on as much muscle as I possibly can."
Sarah Denny — Personal trainer and power lifter with 10 years of coaching experience. Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 21 and endometriosis at age 15, Denny's early health challenges initially kept her away from exercise. After a doctor's recommendation at age 24, she began her fitness journey, working at Good Life Fitness for five years before transitioning to independent online coaching. She applies her hard-won understanding of chronic conditions and physical limitation to inspire her clients and demonstrate that strength is possible at any starting point.
Denny's reframing of medication-induced weight gain—transforming a side effect into an intentional opportunity for muscle building—reveals a deeper truth about recovery. Rather than viewing the 165-to-190-pound weight gain as a setback, she leveraged it as motivation to direct that mass toward functional strength. Her eventual peak of 197 pounds wasn't a failure to lose weight; it was the byproduct of a deliberate strength-building phase that fundamentally changed how she felt in her body. This psychological shift, paired with the physical results, helped break the cycle of pain and limitation.
For more insights into body image, physical transformation, and the psychology of recovery, listen to the full episode on Listenly .
How does medication-induced weight gain affect body image and what strategies can help reframe it positively?
Medication-induced weight gain doesn't have to damage your body image if you reframe it as a conscious trade-off for health . When Sarah Denny gained 25 pounds in a few months while managing severe sciatica pain with medication, she chose to view the weight gain as an opportunity for intentional muscle-building rather than letting it erode her confidence—because the medication gave her life back.
For nearly two years, Denny had been unable to walk properly or sleep through the night due to sciatica pain. The medication that relieved her symptoms came with a side effect: weight gain, from 165 to 190 pounds in just a few months. Rather than resenting this physical change, she made a deliberate mental shift.
Her strategy was straightforward but powerful: she decided to "make it a bulk" —shifting from viewing the weight gain as an unwanted consequence to treating it as the foundation for intentional strength-building. By redefining the situation on her own terms, Denny regained agency over her body and used the momentum to focus on what she could control: building muscle mass and increasing her strength as a power lifter.
"If I'm going to gain weight, I'm going to just make it a bulk and really just try to put on as much muscle as I possibly can."
Sarah Denny — Personal trainer and power lifter with 10 years of experience. Denny was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 21 and endometriosis at age 15, conditions that initially made her avoid exercise entirely. After a doctor recommended starting to work out at age 24, she pursued personal training as a career, working at Good Life Fitness for five years before transitioning to independent coaching. She is a mother and continues to compete and coach as a power lifter.
This reframing allowed Denny to see the bigger picture: the medication had restored her quality of life in ways that mattered far more than body weight. She could walk, sleep through the night, and spend time actively with her daughter again. From this perspective, the weight gain became a worthwhile and temporary trade-off, not a failure of body image or self-care.
As Denny explains in the Cliterally Obsessed episode , the key is shifting from shame to agency—taking ownership of the narrative around your body rather than allowing a side effect to dictate your self-worth. This mindset is especially powerful for anyone navigating medication changes, chronic pain management, or other life circumstances where body composition shifts are temporary or necessary.
Reframing the Trade-Off: Health Over Appearance
Denny's experience reveals a core truth about body image: it's less about the number on the scale and more about what your body allows you to do . When medication enables you to function—to move, sleep, be present with loved ones—the visual cost becomes secondary.
This is not about ignoring body changes or pretending they don't matter. Instead, it's about consciously weighing the gains (pain relief, restored mobility, better sleep) against the losses (temporary weight gain) and deciding that the trade was worth making. You can acknowledge the change and still choose to reframe its meaning.
For more nuanced conversation about body love and the complex relationship between self-acceptance and the desire to change, listen to the full episode , which explores how you can hold both acceptance and ambition at the same time.
Medication-induced weight gain becomes more manageable when you prioritize the health benefits it delivers—such as pain relief, better sleep, and restored mobility.
Reframing a physical change as a conscious trade-off or even an opportunity (like intentional muscle-building) removes the shame and restores your sense of control.
Body image is linked to function and capability, not just appearance; when medication lets you do things you couldn't before, that shift in perspective can outweigh cosmetic concerns.
Temporary weight changes tied to health management are often worth the trade-off when measured against long-term quality of life and ability to be present with loved ones.
Everything You Never Learned About Sex Toys & Lube
What section of a sex shop is best for a first-time visitor?
Start with the body care section, which includes lubricants, massage candles, and erotica — it feels most familiar and approachable. You can also explore the novelty section with communication games and books like Come As You Are , which offer a lighter entry point into the store without pressure.
Walking into a sex shop for the first time can feel overwhelming, but knowing where to begin makes all the difference. The body care aisle is purposefully designed to ease anxiety because these products feel less intimidating than others in the store. Lubricants and massage products exist within familiar wellness language, making them a natural starting point for anyone exploring what the space has to offer.
Beyond body care, the novelty section provides an educational bridge. As Madeline Dorian explains in the episode , communication games and relationship workbooks create a conversational entry point. These products signal that pleasure and intimacy are holistic topics worth exploring together, rather than just transactional purchases. Many visitors find that understanding the "why" behind products — through books and guided games — removes shame and builds genuine curiosity.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. Dorian holds a background in sexuality studies from Concordia University and co-runs Wicked Wanda's, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational space, alongside her mother. Her expertise spans product development, retail strategy, and culturally inclusive sex education, earned through direct consultation with thousands of customers and healthcare professionals.
The strategy behind these two sections reflects a deeper truth: shame decreases when familiarity increases . Products presented within the context of self-care and communication feel less isolating than walking straight to toys without context. Staff trained to observe body language — a hallmark of spaces like Wicked Wanda's — also recognize when a visitor needs subtle guidance or space to browse independently. Discover more about how staff create welcoming environments for nervous shoppers in the full episode.
One often overlooked benefit of starting in these sections is permission. By browsing body care and novelty items first, you give yourself time to acclimate to the store's energy and aesthetics. This unhurried approach transforms a visit from anxiety-driven to exploratory — exactly the mindset that leads to informed, pleasurable purchases rather than impulse buys driven by discomfort.
Building Confidence Through Incremental Exploration
First-time visitors sometimes expect to find everything they need in one section, but intimate wellness shops are designed with a journey in mind. Starting in body care and novelty isn't just about comfort — it's a scaffolding system that helps you learn your own preferences . Conversations with staff or insights from books reveal what categories actually interest you before you venture deeper into the shop.
A curious detail from the broader conversation on this episode involves how product quality and marketing have evolved significantly over the past 15 to 20 years, making modern shops far more curated and customer-conscious than they were decades ago. This evolution means the stores you walk into today are actively designed with first-time visitors in mind.
Body care (lubricants, massage candles, erotica) feels most familiar and is the recommended starting point for first-time visitors.
Novelty items like communication games and books offer a lighter, educational entry into the store experience.
Incremental exploration through these sections builds confidence and helps you clarify your own preferences before moving deeper into the shop.
Taking time to browse without pressure transforms anxiety into genuine curiosity and empowered decision-making.
How does Wicked Wanda's staff approach customers who appear uncomfortable in the store?
Staff at Wicked Wanda's are trained to read body language and initiate light, human connection before asking about personal preferences . Rather than immediately probing into what customers want, team members offer a gentle tour of the store, starting with familiar territory like body care and novelty sections, while reassuring visitors that staff have heard everything and judgment has no place in the conversation.
The approach reflects a deliberate shift away from high-pressure sales tactics. Creating psychological safety is the priority — staff understand that many first-time visitors carry shame, embarrassment, or simple uncertainty about entering an intimate wellness space. By observing how someone moves through the store and responding to non-verbal cues, team members can adjust their pace and level of engagement in real time.
Starting with a guided tour of less-charged sections gives customers a chance to acclimate. As explained in the Cliterally Obsessed episode , this method allows people to build confidence before encountering more specialized products. The message behind this sequencing is clear: you belong here, and we move at your pace.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. She holds academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands. Dorian co-runs Wicked Wanda's alongside her mother, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational space that doubles as a platform for connection and destigmatization.
The verbal reassurance — that staff have heard everything and carry no judgment — is equally essential. This single statement can dissolve much of the anxiety a person brings into a pleasure shop. It signals that the space exists specifically for people at all stages of curiosity, comfort, and experience. Whether someone is buying their first toy or seeking something entirely new, the culture at Wicked Wanda's emphasizes that all questions and interests are normal.
Beyond individual transactions, this philosophy shapes the entire environment. As detailed in this podcast episode , Wicked Wanda's operates as both a retail space and an educational platform, hosting workshops and support groups that further normalize conversations about pleasure and wellness. The staff training in body language reading and compassionate engagement is part of a larger commitment to making intimate wellness truly accessible.
A curious detail worth exploring: Madeline Dorian has consulted with healthcare professionals on how to better support their clients , showing how this retail approach bridges into clinical and therapeutic contexts. The training methods Wicked Wanda's uses may have applications far beyond a pleasure shop.
Staff read body language and adjust engagement in real time, rather than launching into a scripted pitch.
Guided tours begin with low-stakes sections like body care before moving to more intimate products, allowing customers to build confidence.
Explicit verbal reassurance that staff carry no judgment and have "heard everything" dissolves much of the shame that new customers carry.
This compassionate approach reflects Wicked Wanda's identity as both a retail space and an educational platform committed to destigmatizing pleasure.
How has the sex toy industry changed over the past 15 to 20 years?
The sex toy industry has matured dramatically in product quality and design. Vibrators are now much quieter and rechargeable rather than battery-operated , reflecting significant engineering improvements. The market has also broadened substantially, with the industry developing new product lines for people experiencing menopause and creating gender-affirming products across the gender spectrum.
Engineering and user experience advances
Over the past 15 to 20 years, the fundamental engineering of intimate products has shifted from battery dependency to rechargeable systems. This transition isn't merely a convenience upgrade—it reflects a broader industry commitment to durability, sustainability, and user satisfaction. Noise reduction stands as one of the most practical improvements , making products far more discreet and accessible for people living in shared spaces or with noise concerns.
As Madeline Dorian explains in the Cliterally Obsessed episode , this evolution reflects what manufacturers learned by listening directly to customer feedback. The shift toward quieter, more powerful, and longer-lasting products demonstrates that the industry has moved beyond novelty into genuine product development.
Market expansion and inclusivity
Beyond engineering, the industry has radically expanded its product portfolio. Products designed specifically for menopause have emerged as a meaningful category , acknowledging a life stage that was historically overlooked in sexual wellness conversations. These products address real physiological changes while centering pleasure as a valid part of health at every age.
The development of gender-affirming products marks another significant shift. Discussed in detail in this podcast conversation , these offerings reflect an industry-wide move toward recognizing the full spectrum of gender identity and ensuring that pleasure tools serve people across that spectrum. This represents not just a product expansion, but a fundamental reframing of who the industry serves.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. She co-runs Wicked Wanda's, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational platform with her mother, and holds academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University alongside hands-on training from leading brands across retail, product development, manufacturing, and wholesale.
The conversation with Madeline Dorian also touches on how marketing itself has matured in the industry , with brands increasingly adopting inclusive, educational, and de-stigmatized approaches to reaching customers.
What should you look for when buying a butt plug or anal toy?
The most critical feature to prioritize is a flared base that is as wide as, or wider than, the widest part of the toy itself . This design prevents the toy from being lost internally and potentially requiring an emergency room visit.
Safety should always be your first consideration when selecting any internal toy. A flared base creates a physical barrier that prevents complete internal displacement—a genuine medical risk that can result in costly and embarrassing emergency interventions. This is not an optional detail; it is a non-negotiable requirement.
As Madeline Dorian explains in the episode , this design principle applies universally across all anal toys, from entry-level butt plugs to more advanced toys. The flared base works because the anal sphincter naturally cannot pull an object in that exceeds the width of the widest part of that object—basic anatomy makes this feature your best protection.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. She holds academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands in sexual health. She co-runs Wicked Wanda's, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational space, alongside her mother, blending retail expertise with a mission to normalize conversations about pleasure and wellness.
Beyond the flared base, material safety matters significantly. Water-based lubricants are your safest choice for anal play because they are compatible with all toy materials , unlike silicone-based options that can degrade silicone toys. Additionally, opt for toys made from body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel—materials that are non-porous and easy to clean thoroughly.
The anatomical design of the toy itself matters too. Gradual tapering from the insertion point to the widest part helps with comfortable entry, and a narrower neck just before the flared base reduces internal pressure. Madeline's detailed guidance on product selection covers additional considerations like texture, firmness, and size progression, which can help you choose a toy suited to your comfort level.
A flared base wider than the toy's widest point is the essential safety feature that prevents internal displacement.
Body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel are non-porous and easy to clean.
Water-based lubricants are the safest choice for anal play because they work with all toy materials.
Gradual tapering and a narrower neck design make insertion more comfortable and reduce internal pressure.
Why should you avoid silicone lubricant with silicone sex toys?
Silicone lubricant and silicone toys are fundamentally incompatible: liquid silicone breaks down the solid silicone material of the toy , causing them to degrade each other. Instead, use water-based lubricant or a quality toy cleaner, and reserve silicone lube for non-silicone toys or body application only.
The problem lies in the chemistry itself. When you apply silicone-based lubricant to a silicone toy, the two materials interact in ways that compromise the toy's structural integrity and safety. As Madeline Dorian explains in the episode , this incompatibility is one of the most common mistakes people make when choosing lubricants.
The key to avoiding this damage is understanding which lubricants work with which materials. Water-based lubricants are your safest choice for silicone toys —they're compatible with all toy materials and pose no risk of degradation. If you prefer silicone-based products for their longer-lasting glide, reserve them exclusively for non-silicone toys or for use directly on your body.
Beyond lubricant selection, maintenance matters too. A good quality toy cleaner should be part of your routine after use, as detailed further in this podcast discussion . This ensures your toys remain safe and effective over time.
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry. She holds academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands. Dorian co-runs Wicked Wanda's, a community-focused pleasure shop and educational space, alongside her mother, and consults with both curious individuals and healthcare professionals on sexual wellness topics.
For those looking deeper into lubricant choices, Madeline covers how to select products based on your toy material—a conversation that touches on water-based formulations that should be glycerin-free and paraben-free, alongside hybrid lubricants that offer different benefits. The full episode explores the entire landscape of intimate product compatibility , helping you make informed decisions about what's right for your body and your collection.
What are the different types of lubricants and how should they be used with sex toys?
There are four main lubricant types: water-based, silicone-based, hybrid, and oil-based — and each comes with specific compatibility rules for toys and condoms. Water-based lubricant is the safest all-around choice: it works with every toy material, every condom, and is the easiest to clean up. When in doubt, reach for Sutil, the water-based formula Madeline Dorian recommends as the single most versatile option on the market.
Four lubricant types — and why compatibility with your toy material is non-negotiable
Water-based lubricants are compatible with all sex toy materials, all condom types, and tend to be the gentlest on sensitive tissue. Dorian is specific about formulation: look for options that are glycerin-free, paraben-free, and pH balanced. Glycerin in particular can disrupt vaginal flora, so reading labels matters — as she explains in Cliterally Obsessed .
Silicone-based lubricants last significantly longer than water-based formulas and require no reapplication during extended use. The critical caveat: they degrade silicone toy materials over time, causing the surface to break down and potentially harbor bacteria. If your toy is made from silicone — which includes most premium vibrators — silicone lube is off the table.
Hybrid lubricants are primarily water-based with a small percentage of silicone blended in for added longevity. They offer a middle ground: longer-lasting than a pure water base, but with much lower silicone content than a full silicone formula. Wicked Wanda's sells the hybrid brand Fuck Water — including a 4-liter format, a clear indicator of how consistently in-demand this category is, a detail Dorian shares in the episode .
Oil-based lubricants are the most limited in application. They are incompatible with latex condoms — they degrade the material and compromise barrier protection — and they are significantly harder to clean from toy surfaces. They can also be difficult to wash from fabric, making post-use cleanup more involved.
pH balanced lubricant: The vagina maintains a naturally acidic pH (roughly 3.8–4.5). A lubricant labeled "pH balanced" is formulated to stay within this range, reducing the risk of irritation, microbiome disruption, or increased susceptibility to infection. This is one of the key criteria Dorian flags when evaluating water-based lubricants. Sutil, Uber Lube, Fuck Water — the brands Dorian names from behind the counter
After more than 13 years in intimate retail at Wicked Wanda's, Dorian doesn't traffic in vague recommendations. She names Sutil as her top pick for an all-purpose water-based lubricant — a product that covers most use cases without the formulation concerns she flags (glycerin, parabens, pH imbalance). For those who want the longevity of silicone without fully committing, Uber Lube is a well-regarded silicone-based option — provided the toys in use are not made from silicone.
These aren't theoretical preferences. Dorian consults with healthcare professionals and individuals daily through Cliterally Obsessed 's guest platform and through Wicked Wanda's floor, where lubricant is consistently the store's number one most purchased product category. The recommendations come from real-world pattern recognition, not brand partnerships.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur, co-owner of Wicked Wanda's
Dorian brings over 13 years of hands-on experience in the intimate wellness industry, spanning retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation. She studied sexuality studies at Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands. She began working at Wicked Wanda's at age 19 — the community-focused pleasure shop her mother originally opened — and now co-runs it as both a retail space and an educational platform. Her consulting practice reaches curious individuals and healthcare professionals alike, with a practical, anti-shame approach that defines her work. Her full breakdown of lubricant types is available in Cliterally Obsessed .
What are the most popular vibrators sold at Wicked Wanda's?
The top-selling vibrators at Wicked Wanda's are wand vibrators and air pulse toys. Wand vibrators are praised for their power and versatility, usable on any…
What is the most popular product category at Wicked Wanda's?
Lubricant is the single most purchased product at Wicked Wanda's — Madeline Dorian calls it "the center of your sex chest." Libido products for men form a strong second category, with a natural honey-based product called Buffbard standing out as a consistent customer favorite.
Lube first — and it's not even close
When Madeline Dorian talks about what actually sells at Wicked Wanda's, lubricant comes up immediately and without hesitation. It's not a niche item or an afterthought — it's the top of the list. Dorian frames it not just as a product but as a foundational wellness tool, something that belongs in every person's intimate routine.
This perspective reflects the store's broader educational mission. As explored in Cliterally Obsessed , the conversation around lube goes well beyond novelty — it's about comfort, accessibility, and real-world use across all life stages. The store even carries Fuck Water hybrid lubricant in a 4-liter format, a signal of just how central lube is to Wicked Wanda's inventory.
Brands like Sutil and Uber Lube are among the named options stocked at the store, each serving different needs in terms of texture, longevity, and compatibility with toys or latex.
Buffbard and the men's libido category — a quieter but significant shelf
The second major category is libido products for men. It's a segment that often flies under the radar in conversations about intimate wellness, but at Wicked Wanda's it represents meaningful foot traffic. Buffbard, a natural honey-based product, is the standout here — a customer favorite that Dorian singles out by name.
The fact that this category performs so well speaks to the store's genuinely inclusive approach. Dorian and her team don't cater to one demographic — a point that Madeline Dorian develops directly in this episode of Cliterally Obsessed , where she explains how the store has evolved to serve a wide range of customers, including men who might otherwise feel out of place in a pleasure shop.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur, co-owner of Wicked Wanda's.
Dorian brings over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry, spanning retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation. She studied sexuality studies at Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands. She consults with both individual clients and healthcare professionals, and co-runs Wicked Wanda's alongside her mother, who originally founded the store. Madeline began working there in an official capacity at age 19 — and never looked back.
That depth of experience shapes exactly how Dorian frames product recommendations. She's not guessing at what customers need — she's drawn from thousands of real conversations over more than a decade. The full context of that expertise comes through in the Cliterally Obsessed episode dedicated to sex toys and lube.
Host Lisa Flanders and co-host Dr. Rebecca Chase bring their own clinical lenses to the conversation — pelvic floor physiotherapy and obstetrics/gynecology respectively — which grounds Dorian's retail experience in a genuinely useful medical framework. The result is one of the more practical conversations about intimate product categories available in podcast form. It's the kind of exchange that Cliterally Obsessed consistently delivers.
What workshops and events does Wicked Wanda's offer and what do they cost?
Wicked Wanda's hosts workshops including Kink 101, Tantric Touch, Thai massage for couples, and a monthly support group for dominants and submissives led by a kink educator. Fees range from $15 to $100 depending on how elaborate the event is. The store also organizes sex-positive events outside its walls.
From $15 to $100: a sliding scale designed to keep education accessible
The pricing structure at Wicked Wanda's is deliberately wide. A drop-in community gathering costs as little as $15, while a more involved, production-heavy workshop tops out at $100. That range reflects a core part of the shop's identity: education should not be priced out of reach for the people who need it most.
This philosophy is entirely consistent with how Madeline Dorian describes her mission in Cliterally Obsessed — making high-quality products and knowledge more accessible, with pleasure treated as a core component of overall wellness rather than a luxury.
A monthly Dom/sub support group — and workshops that go well beyond retail
One of the most distinctive fixtures on the Wicked Wanda's calendar is the monthly support group for dominants and submissives, held at the beginning of each month and facilitated by a dedicated kink educator. It is not a one-off event but a recurring, structured space for community and peer support.
Alongside it, the workshop roster spans genuinely diverse territory: Kink 101 for those new to the subject, Tantric Touch for couples exploring intimacy differently, and Thai massage for couples as a hands-on, body-centred option. As Dorian details in this episode of Cliterally Obsessed , Wicked Wanda's also takes its programming beyond the store itself, hosting sex-positive events in external venues.
That reach beyond the shop floor is significant. It positions Wicked Wanda's less as a retail destination and more as an educational platform — one that happens to sell products, as Dorian explains throughout the full conversation .
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur, co-owner of Wicked Wanda's.
Dorian brings over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry, with a background spanning retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation. She studied sexuality studies at Concordia University and has received hands-on training from leading brands. She consults with both curious individuals and healthcare professionals, and co-runs Wicked Wanda's alongside her mother, who originally opened the store. Dorian joined the business in an official capacity at age 19.
That founding love for conversation — not just commerce — is what makes the workshop program feel organic rather than bolted on. The events are an extension of the same impulse that drew Dorian into the industry in the first place, a point she returns to in Cliterally Obsessed .
What makes Wicked Wanda's different from other adult stores?
Wicked Wanda's is modeled after the feminist sex shop movement that emerged in the 1970s as a direct response to stores that ignored women and queer people. The difference is structural: trained staff, curated quality products, and a space built around inclusion — not titillation. It's a pleasure shop designed to make every customer feel welcome, not judged.
Rooted in a 1970s movement — not the mainstream adult retail model
Most adult stores were built for a narrow audience. The feminist sex shop movement emerged in the 1970s to fill a gap that mainstream retail had no interest in closing: stores where women and queer people could shop without discomfort, access real information, and be treated with respect.
Wicked Wanda's follows that lineage deliberately. The model isn't just about what's on the shelves — it's about how staff are trained, how customers are received, and what kind of space the store chooses to be. Staff who have been there for years and who are genuinely passionate about helping customers aren't a coincidence. They're the product of a specific philosophy.
That philosophy includes education as a core service. Wicked Wanda's runs workshops ranging from $15 to $100 and hosts a monthly support group for dominants and submissives — offerings that go far beyond what a typical retail environment would consider its role. You can explore this episode further on Listenly's Cliterally Obsessed page .
Co-run by a mother and daughter — with 13+ years of hands-on expertise
Madeline Dorian didn't arrive at Wicked Wanda's as an outsider. Her mother opened the store when Dorian was around 13, and she began working there officially at 19. Over 13 years in the industry — spanning retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation — she has built an understanding of intimate wellness that is both academic and deeply practical.
Her background in sexuality studies from Concordia University, combined with hands-on training from leading brands and years of consulting with healthcare professionals, shapes how Wicked Wanda's operates. The store isn't just a shop. It's an educational space and a community platform — which is exactly what the feminist sex shop model was always intended to be.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
Madeline Dorian — Sex educator and entrepreneur, co-owner of Wicked Wanda's.
Dorian has over 13 years of experience in the intimate wellness industry, with academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University and hands-on training from leading brands. She consults with both individuals and healthcare professionals, and co-runs Wicked Wanda's alongside her mother, who originally founded the store. Dorian began working there at age 19 and has since expanded its role as an educational space and community platform.
What is the origin story of Wicked Wanda's pleasure shop?
Madeline's mother was originally a residential realtor who transitioned to commercial real estate before becoming fed up with the hustle culture of that…
How did Madeline Dorian get into the intimate wellness industry?
Madeline Dorian's entry into the intimate wellness industry was a family affair. Her mother opened an adult toy store when Dorian was around 13 years old, giving her an early, formative exposure to the world of sexual wellness. At 19, she began working at the store in an official capacity — and it was there that she discovered her genuine passion: the customers, the conversations, and the entrepreneurial energy behind the business.
That early immersion laid the foundation for a career spanning over 13 years across retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation. The store Dorian grew up around eventually became Wicked Wanda's , the community-focused pleasure shop and educational space she now co-runs alongside her mother — the same woman who started it all.
The path wasn't a pivot or a career change — it was a gradual, organic immersion that began at home and deepened into a full professional identity rooted in education, accessibility, and removing shame from conversations about sex and pleasure.
"I started working in the store in an official capacity and I just fell in love. I fell in love with the customers, the conversations, and then the whole entrepreneurship side as well."
— Madeline Dorian, Cliterally Obsessed
About Madeline Dorian
MD Madeline Dorian Sex Educator & Entrepreneur Wicked Wanda's Madeline Dorian brings over 13 years of hands-on experience in the intimate wellness industry — a career that began not in a classroom, but in her mother's shop, where she grew up surrounded by the realities of retail, customer relationships, and the taboos people bring through the door. That lived familiarity gives her perspective that purely academic training cannot replicate.
Her work spans the full breadth of the industry: retail, product development, manufacturing, wholesale, education, and event creation. She holds academic roots in sexuality studies from Concordia University, and has received hands-on training from leading brands — experience she has applied in consultations with everyone from curious individuals to healthcare professionals seeking to better support their clients.
Today, Dorian co-runs Wicked Wanda's alongside her mother, the woman who originally opened the store. Under their shared leadership, Wicked Wanda's functions not only as a pleasure shop but as an educational space and platform for community connection — hosting workshops priced from $15 to $100 and regular support groups. Her approach is practical, inclusive, and unapologetically anti-shame.