Answer extracted from the BriteVibe Podcast: Live Brite, Live Bold, and Share BriteVibes podcast — listen to the full episode below.
What role does slowing down and inner work play in navigating major life transitions?
Slowing down and tuning inward is the foundation of major life transitions, not a luxury. Meditation, journaling, and getting quiet with yourself are not quick fixes—this inner work is a months-to-year-long process that allows you to shed external conditioning and discover who you actually are beneath what others expect of you.
When you're in the middle of a life upheaval, the instinct is often to rush forward or distract yourself. But Carley Weissert, a confidence coach who guides people through personal transformations, and her host emphasized that the real work happens in the silence and stillness. This is what some describe as a "dark night of the soul" experience—a period lasting months to sometimes a year where you sit with the discomfort of not knowing who you are or what you want anymore.
The transition itself is not the enemy; the resistance to slowing down is. During this phase, you're learning to tune out the noise of social media, family expectations, cultural narratives about what success should look like, and the voice of perfectionism that has probably guided you for years. You're essentially deprogramming yourself from a lifetime of conditioning.
Carley highlighted that building trust in yourself and your higher power is central to navigating this phase. This trust doesn't come from thinking your way through the transition—it comes from the practice of sitting with yourself long enough to hear what your inner voice is actually saying. Meditation and journaling become tools for this listening, not just wellness activities.
"The most impactful thing that you can do as a human is just live in alignment."
Carley Weissert — Confidence Coach who helps people find their voice and step into their power. Through her own four-year transformation beginning in fall 2019, she shifted from living according to external expectations—a persona of being a wife, mother, and homeowner—to discovering her authentic self through deep inner work, healing patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism.
One often-overlooked detail is how research on life transitions reveals that most people experience two to three major "lifequakes" in their lifetime, each typically lasting four to five years from start to genuine integration. This timeline reframes the urgency many of us feel: major transitions are not meant to be resolved in months.
The practice of getting quiet is not avoidance—it's the path forward
When you're in a major life transition—whether it's a career change, the end of a marriage, or a fundamental identity shift—there is a powerful cultural narrative that says you should know what comes next immediately. But getting quiet with yourself first is actually how you find authentic answers, not how you avoid them.
This inner work involves sitting with the discomfort of not having all the answers. It means meditating without a goal, journaling without a plan, and spending time alone without filling the silence with distractions. Through this practice, you gradually begin to distinguish between what you actually want and what you've been conditioned to want—a difference that can feel earth-shattering once you see it.
See also
How does identity attachment prevent personal growth and evolution?
Carley explained that she had created a persona that checked all the external boxes—a wife, mother, homeowner with a dog—but realized she had built this identity around others' expectations rather than her own authentic self.
What internal process led to a major life transformation during the pandemic period?
Carley began diving deeply into personal development work in fall 2019 and intensified this during the pandemic lockdown. She started peeling back layers of conditioning and people-pleasing patterns through meditation, journaling, and building trust in herself.
Key takeaways
- Inner work during life transitions is a months-to-year-long process, not a quick fix or optional step.
- Slowing down, meditating, and journaling help you distinguish between your authentic desires and conditioned expectations.
- Tuning out external opinions—social media, family narratives, cultural success stories—is essential to hearing your own voice.
- Major life transitions typically last four to five years from initiation to genuine integration, reframing the urgency to "move on" quickly.